I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
