If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
