you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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