good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
