Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
