lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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