but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize