I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
