Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
