My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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