i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
