i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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