Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
no more duck duck goose at the bar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
