He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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