bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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