In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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