So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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