Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
