I'm gonna have a badass scar
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
