I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
