Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
