If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
