It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
