Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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