If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
