Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
