brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
