i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
