I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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