Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
