Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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