There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I could fuck to npr.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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