He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
