she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
