my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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