On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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