We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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