no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
