Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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