Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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