I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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