Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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