and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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