we have officially lost it.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
