i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
