please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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