I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
