he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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