I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
