how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
