my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
