Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
