He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
