whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish you could order shots online.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
