Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
