If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
