how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
