So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
