Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
