Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
this will be a night to untag.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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