You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
