The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
