We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
