i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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